Bangalore. Bahadur Singh Thapa, a Non Resident Nepali have thrown in the towel and gone back to Nepal leaving behind a lucrative and high paying job of cooking for Software engineers here in the IT capital of India- Bangalore.
The two perpetrators of the crime, the employers of Thapa, Satinder Pal Singh Bains and Devinder Kumar Bose who are both IT engineers, were nonchalant about the whole issue but did express a bit of a disappointment at the turn of events.
“It was a brilliant idea and might I add, a fare one at that, where the cook, the appraisee would be first given an opportunity to rate his own performance with a standard rating parameters D,C,B,A which stood for Partially met expectation, Met Expectation, Exceeded Expectation and ‘ Oh, My God! You should work in a Michelin Star Restaurant’ and then we as the Appraisers would give him a feedback and a relative rating.” said Satinder.
“Another analogy could be with say a skirt. Like Knee length for D, a Mini for C, a Micro Mini for B and then a 'Oh, My God, don’t bend, Mini' for an A” said Devinder with a chuckle. At this point we are pretty sure our reporter rolled his eyes and let out a muffled "Desperate" cough.
But this didn’t stop Satinder Pal, who recently got promoted to a Managers role and have designed the whole Cook rating process, from going into a monologue of how the whole system is supposed to work,
” Let me break it down for you. In order to have a fare assessment of Thapa, or “resource” as we lovingly called him, The Cook was evaluated on various parameters like
Schedule Adherence: In this parameter it was determined whether the Chapati he delivered were Pan hot by the time they reached our plate or if the dinner was cooked within the 7 minutes we allocated him.
Taste Injection Ratio: Calculated as –
(Number of Certified Tasty Lunches+Dinners/ Total number of Lunches+Dinners) *100.
The target was set at a modest 83 but Thapa stood at a lowly 76 but we still gave him a Mini Skirt.
Contribution to Knowledge Management: The idea of this parameter was to determine how much have Thapa been contributing to the pool of knowledge we have maintained as sticky notes on our fridge. The idea is that we would finally achieve a state where any given day any other “resource” can step into his shoes and know where the chillies are, on which shelves are the garam masalas and eggs located, where to get the groceries, what snacks we like with our Friday night scotch, you know, the works. But it turned out Thapa wasn’t very keen on these processes and got a C."
“He deserved a ghagra for this one. You know our new resource, Daleep is still getting his KT 15 days later and can’t tell MDH Garam Masala powder from MTR Kitchen King” interrupted Devinder frowning. But Satinder went on,
"Innovation or value add to Sabji/Dal: Any recognition; awards; End user testimonials which Thapa got none and hence a Ghagra.
Contribution to re-use : effort saved because of re-use: Thapa really scored high on this one since he really liked dishing up last night’s left overs as the next days breakfast. I suppose it saved him on the time and effort and saved us, the money. A win win in these recession prone times. He got a well deserved A for this one.
Initiatives and process compliance: Thapa sucked on both the parameters, since neither did he came up with any new dishes like Chicken Tandori Pasta nor did he follow any laid down processes effectively earning him a Ghagra again.
Certification planned and completed: Thapa never gave any 'Papu Da Vaishnu Dhabha' certified certification in either the current or the last cycle, leaving him not qualified for a CRR1+ i.e the top most Cook Relative Ratio, the performance measurement parameter based upon which we were going to give him a raise in his already significant pay.
Aspirations with respect to career direction : This one was the key points of discourse which didn’t go down too well. You see, Thapa wanted an Onsite opportunity, where he would be cooking for some hot shot IT manager living in some upmarket area of Kormangala, while we still paid for his dues here in BTM. He also wanted a better pay, for God’s sake!! Nothing doing, we said. Thats when he went all ape shit. He didn’t even give us an opportunity to rate him.” Satinder Finally, and I mean Finally, concluded.
“I don’t know what happened. We were trying to be all fare and shit and giving him some motivational examples of some earlier “resources” before him when he suddenly went nuts and took out his Kukri. He then started tearing down everything in his path and running like Forest Gump to, what we have heard, all the way to Nepal thus ruining our Friday night since he hadn't yet cooked our cursory Snacks. We had to munch on Haldiram to swallow our JD, for God's Sake!!” said Devinder.
“Though the upside to the whole event is that the attrition rate for the cooks in our household is still close to only 39% which is like way better than the company we both work for” Satinder signed off.
